Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Unpleasantness Come Back from the Dead

Have you ever looked back on things that you created when you were young and instantly recoil at the crap you made? Well, this is one of my regretful works of "art" and, surprisingly enough, it wasn't even finished, so what you see is what there is. I hope you enjoy my rotting unpleasantness that's come back to haunt me. Here is "My Wacky Adventure", un-edited, straight from the dusty presses. I hope you "enjoy". ;)

<3, RS

Prologue
One stormy night, Dr. Frankenbokerfissssher was working on an experiment that involved spaghetti and whether or not ducks, aardvarks or cows would eat it  or not. Just as lightning flashed and thunder rumbled, Dr. Frankenbokerfissssher heard a knock on the laboratory door (not lavatory a.k.a. bathroom).
“Come in.” he said not bothering to look over his shoulder. He heard the door thump against the wall (flash flash boom boom) and he heard footsteps  coming toward him and his experiment. It must be    one of my fellow scientists. he thought. Then a    sudden pain arose at the back of his neck. Then everything went black.



Meanwhile

Meanwhile in Tortuga,  Captain Jack Sparrow was talking to Will Turner when his cell phone rang in an AMBER ALERT!! “Deleleleblee. Deleleleblee.”
“Oh for gods sake!!!” Jack exclaimed after a while of the annoying call of the AMBER ALERT!!!!!
“Now where did I put that annoying thing?” he said turning around while patting himself.
“It sound as if it’s coming from your boot.” answered Will. Jack turned around and shot an annoyed look at Will.
“Thanks a whole lot, Will.” he shouted. The drunken, wild, fighting people stopped whatever they were   doing (I don’t really know what they were doing) and turned toward Will and Jack.
“Nothing to see here.” said Jack. Then slowly everybody went back to what they were doing. Will leaned down and put his hand into Jack’s boot. He felt around for a few seconds and then he found Jack’s silver cell phone.
“Gimme that.” said Jack crossly swiping the cell phone from Will’s hand. He opened it and pushed some buttons until he reached the AMBER ALERT!!!!!!!!


AMBER ALERT!!!!!!!

Dr. frankenbokerfissssher is
Missing. He was in his
Laboratory when the experimento*
Scientists last saw him. When
they came to room 12345,
he and his top secret were GONE!!!!!!! Call
425-555-8843 or log on to
www. Experimento*.com to communicate to the
scientists.

After a while, Jack turned to Will and asked “Will,    are you ready for a quest?”
“I’m always ready.” he answered.
“Well, we’re going to create a posse. So let’s go to our first miscreant!” Jack yelled and suddenly Will Turner   and Jack Sparrow were standing in front of a cottage.
“How did we get here, Jack?” Will asked.
“No idea.’’ was the answer.











The gathering of the posse


Will walked toward the door of the cottage and knocked.
“Come in.” answered a voice. Will gestured at Jack and opened the door. They had walked into a sitting room with a wooden piano and a lot of chairs that were,  oddly enough, dusty.
“HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ANYBODY HOME???!!!!!” Jack thundered and Will felt the wood floor vibrate.
“Jack, is that you?!” the voice called.
“Yep.” Jack answered.
“Well, come into the living room and see ol’ Snow.”
“ ‘Snow’?” Will asked.
“Snow White.” answered Jack and Will nodded his head in response. He followed behind Jack and the 2 walked toward the living room. As they got nearer, they heard a TV program in the room in front of them. Jack and Will turned the corner and.....and saw the fattest person both had ever seen.
“OH MY GOD!!!” Jack shouted in astonishment. The person was, to Will, just a big, fleshy blob with not much rounder parts attached and the head had black hair with a red bow and eyes and nose and mouth.
“Are you Snow White?” both Jack and Will asked at the same time.
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER???!!!” Jack demanded. “I’ll call the police AND.....”
“Calm down, Jack. It’s me and I know, I need to take a workout.” the blob said.
“Wish granted!” said a voice that came out of nowhere. Jack and Will both heard a “POOF!” and there was the original Snow White.
“Hey. I’m thin again and I’m in.....JEANS!!!!!!!!” she screeched horrified.