Hello there, my annoyed fans. I personally promise to stop posting 3 times a day and try and narrow it down to 1 post per day (how will I adapt?! jk). Even after two days of over-posting, I was starting to doubt if I would ever write on this blog again (since when I usually over-do things, I typically give up and try to forget about the embarrasing dorkness that just took place). Anyway, I'll try to limit myself and keep your urge to create an angry mob at bay. If I forget, however, you have my full permission to send an angry e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. I swear, this e-mail is real. I'm not trying to hack your e-mail accounts. It's a legit e-mail, so don't be afraid to e-mail me.
Anyway, I'm getting beside the point...
I found a mini-short story that I wrote not to long ago in one of my piles and piles of notebooks. I thought it was funny then, and I hope you guys find it funny now, my international viewers!
"OH MY GOD!" Tiffany looked manic.
"What?" I moaned. Knowing someone like Tiffany, it was probably something like...
"MY MASCARA WAND BROKE!" I groaned even more. It wasn't enough that we'd just crash-landed, not counting that we were most likely the only survivors, but I was going to live with Tiffany whining over her stupid stick for however long we were stuck in God-only-knows-where. Not only that, but she would also slow me down in gathering food, building shelter, etc. Maybe I can feed her to the wolves...
"OH MY GOD!!! THERE'S NO ONE LEFT! WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!" She started sobbing the most pathetic sob I have ever heard. For Tiffany.
"Don't worry. All we need is a working cell phone, if there's one left..."
"I've got one!" She immediately perked up (crap) and handed me her cell phone from inside her Pink jacket pocket.
"Well...call for help!" She dialed a number on her keypad and I wished she hadn't.
"Hello, this is Tiffany Brown. I'm calling to order a fuzzy, pink miniskirt please." It must have sounded weird on the other end as Tiffany grunted to avoid my mad tackle. "Oh, by the way, we're stuck in the middle of nowhere..." I slapped the phone out of her hand, sending it flying into a patch of burning wreckage.
She was so wolf food.